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[22 Oct 2005|02:48am] |
hjkajkghkjha
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[10 Oct 2005|10:22pm] |
What I miss most is seeing you.
( AUTUMN )
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[26 Sep 2005|11:33pm] |
Because things have either come to an end, or just begun I think it is time for a new journal and a new outlook on more than just my life. So if anyone wishes to continue reading about my rather pointless life then head on over to:
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) __jordannn
__jordannn
__jordannn
I love all of you.
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[21 Aug 2005|11:57pm] |
BECAUSE I AM SICK OF MY PRIVACY BEING INVADED AND BEING TREATED DIFFERENTLY BECAUSE OF MY HONEST OPINIONS I HAVE MADE THIS FRIENDS ONLY.
YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY.
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| i should have pulled up a chair |
[12 Mar 2004|07:40pm] |
Regretting that simple step that I could have made.
"yahhh and then that one time when we snuck out to house park"
"oo gaaahd I remember that"
storytime with the freshman girls in the library-heh
Remember to breathe.
I miss you already.
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[12 Mar 2004|12:01am] |
After deep thought and concentration I realized what I want most for a Spring break surprise is you.
But not just any you. You must be able to stay up all hours of the night talking about your most embarrasing stories as a child,and be capable of downing at least 2 smooth sailings at TC without gagging. You have to have or contain the desire to run through a closed carnival with motionless rides,and use your imagination to beleive in the lights and sounds.You should be ready to look at clouds, but have no expectancy whatsoever to actually find a shape that resembles something,
or want to spontaneously leave everything behind for a trip to the beaches in california. Or maybe even midnight runs to the lake for a swim.
I wonder if this you is made up.
no you arent, but you might as well be, you dont even know my name.
you are my everest"
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| we are most definitely star crossed lovers |
[11 Mar 2004|11:41pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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soty |
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youll be alright as long as theres light from a neon moooon...ooo if you lose your one and only..
pardon me im known for bursting into song
ok so i wore the heels. ouch. most likely never again. enough said.
I really should be down on my knees thanking god that its spring now. I feel so alive when the air is warm, and the flowers are blooming, its my time to shine. Luci was actually the first one to point it out to me today on the bus this morning. She was talking about her birthday, and then just randomly said something about spring and how pretty things were getting. I hadnt really taken much notice, but the trees are all green with new leaves,and the grass wasnt dead anymore. I could have giggled with delight had I not been so tired. What completely took my breath away and made me finally start to beleive that it was spring again was after theatre, leaving the preas I caught the scent of the mountain laurel trees by the PAC...lovely.
I dont do well under pressure. I walked out of the red-jacket clinic today, because I was having a hard time catching up to what they learned before I got there. My day had already been hectic, and I knew that if I didnt leave I would have had a break down. Regretted it later.
Lets hope I do better on the dance.. my strong point so far.
I love nights without homework, my mother is actually in a semi-good mood, and decided to take me out to eat. We went to seranos, and I saw a few people that I knew. It just felt good to be with her in her normal stage as opposed to her yelling and screaming out complaints and demands.
Surprisingly she took me shopping for some unknown reason...no problems here, it was just odd...what is going on with her? I bet its something bad that shes got to tell me... I hope they are getting a divorce...maybe I wont have a stepdad much longer.... please please please....
what truly made everything all right again?
hannah.
"All things are possible-it says so in the Bible!"
so she talked me into it. and i will go back. thank you belle.
evans burrito kingdom reigns allmighty...
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| today on march 10th william the book theft was caught for larceny |
[10 Mar 2004|10:22pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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music |
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ataris |
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I just want everyone to fucking slap me.
I need some kind of rude awakening.
red-jackets today. frusturated, and lost because i missed yesterdays clinic. someone shoot me. i almost cried.
im not meant to deal with this whole stress thing...and its beggining to get to me.
ahhh i heard from tevin! i miss her so much, she just randomly e-mailed me! i cant wait untill she comes to see me from oklahoma, i need to get her away from her parents for a few days.
ma took me to thundercloud. lovely way to end the night, after waiting for her to get out of her fucking meeting that ran untill 8. i was sitting at the school outside in the freezing cold waiting for her.thank god stephanie was there to lend me money because my cell went dead-otherwise i would have been there for eternity. uuuuggggh.
more later. i need to do my asia map.
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[09 Mar 2004|10:39pm] |
Something was just off all day.
I cant explain it but I feel I shouldnt be here.
There was no happiness or sadness for that matter.
Just emotion.
who knows...
You threw me off.
edit:i think you did anyway
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| the good times are killing me |
[08 Mar 2004|11:30pm] |
tears fall 484: yea the 1st sememester seemed so much better
tears fall 484: i have no idea why
tears fall 484: maybe because we were excited about high school
xotxkissesox: well newsflash the excitements gone
xotxkissesox: the beggining of the year was all about making friends, and getting situated, and now that im in this grotesque routine, i dont think that i can stand things being the same any longer. it depresses me to the point of tears that things are so definite now, i mean, ive made a name for myself, and now its stuck with me, no more starting over.
couldn't have been more right.
wow i feel like crying.
how did i let it get like this?
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| so mercurial |
[08 Mar 2004|10:21pm] |
im starting to fashion an idea in my head where i would impress you with every single word i said.
would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming.
PrincessBecky235: i hate u
i hate it when people hate me.
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| now to the one who is able |
[08 Mar 2004|12:37am] |
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mood |
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all cried out |
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music |
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judes benidiction-in my head. |
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this has been such an emotional weekend.
the passion of christ has drained me of any tear that was to be shed for anything later on this week, and made crying over stupid things like barbies and grades unworthy. I advise anyone to see it, whether or not you are a christian, or if you belive in god. it will change your complete life view on how much jesus actually did to save us.
no matter what you say we are his children, and he was beaten, and hung on a cross for YOU.
hours of flogging, and torture for you right now.
and what do you do to make yourself worthy of something that horrible?
"how dare you beat my jesus?"
today's adventures brought me as far as wimberley, we took more things out to the house, and tiffany went with me.
she is such an amazing person, and im so blessed to have her in my life.
we took a brisk walk on the golf course and talked about life and love. it was such a wonderful day, and to tell you the truth there really wasnt any other way I would have rather spent it.the house is still boxed up, but mother promises to have people out there ASAP. only when will that be?
karl- i told you we were going to make it in some way or another!
buying yellowcard tickets tomorow! gaaaah!
ill tell all about the party last night when I have time. it was verrryyy...interesting as tiffany puts it.
basically what i have learned today-
life is to short to live by just going through the basic neccesities, you have to keep and occupy yourself with as many things as possible so you are busy and life lasts longer.
and to cherish your life.
that will forever be a guidline in my heart.
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| speakers are fixxxed! |
[07 Mar 2004|02:15am] |
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mood |
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all is lost |
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music |
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hands down |
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Hopefully these are only ephemeral feelings.
This was a hard day as it would be in any girls life.
My mother went through all these old boxes, and decided that she was going to throw/give away my barbies and dollhouse that I've had since forever. I was ok with it at first, helping her open box after box of barbie clothes for malibu and tattoo barbie. Then when we got to the dreamhouse I almost started crying. I had grown up with these dolls and all of a sudden my mother had a right to just throw them out like this?Its not like I played with them anymore, but I guess just being so used to having them there, and subconsciously knowing everyday that a little of my childhood was in that room off to the side in cardboard, kept me connected to my inner child. And now they would be gone?
I was angry more than anything, I had spent countless afternoons after elementary school in my room in Wimberley arranging the little couches, and making the dolls sit at the table and eat the fake plastic food, dreaming that I was the pretty blonde doll with all the accesories in the world. It seemed so pointless and dumb now that I had "wasted" so much time on making those memories if they wont even be able to be proved or shown to my children.
But then my mom brought up the point that it was all goingto go to our maid's little girl.And after thinking I realized that instead of my things sitting around in some room for the rest of their longlived life, with dust piling up on them, why not give it to a girl who doesnt have what I always did. Maybe she now to would dream to be something beautiful, and maybe she could pass it on to her children.
So I gave it all up.
Now the office is clean.
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| THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND LORD OF THE RINGS |
[06 Mar 2004|12:41am] |
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!HaNnAhS BaCk!
I went to dinner with my mom tonight instead of my friends, just to make her happy.She actually smiled, and we had a conversation in normal voices in the car for once. She was so open and ready to go ANYWHERE I wanted to go. I felt guilty though that she was spending so much money,she takes me out all the time now, and Im sad to say that I think its some desperate plea for bonding. I think reality has hit my mother and maybe now shes realizes that Im not going to be at home much longer. Whatever it was, shes completely pampering me (if grades arent brought up) and im kind of taking advantage of it-well wouldnt you too?
She is making me go stay in wimberley tomorow though. She wants to go to Market Day,and I hear it will be pretty weather so why not spend it outside shopping for vintage stuff? If you want to come call.
Is there ever a point in anyone elses's life where every song they hear almost brings them to tears? I cant even turn on the radio.
im going insane
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| greatest fan of your life |
[05 Mar 2004|07:07pm] |
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enraged |
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ill be-still in my head. |
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Horrid day yet so content.
I'm afraid if I hadnt been smiling all day things would have gotten to me far worse.
Everything got off to a late start, but I managed to pull everything together and get all my work done before classes started.I was actually proud of myself, and smiled all the way to class with a song stuck in my head.
But today i really realized how segregated (right word?) our dance class is.It frusturates me how that everyday im so used to just drifting from group to group of people because...well i just know alot of people, but in dance no one really talks to me except sally sarah, and hannah. Every time I walk in its the sweet girls like rachel,the twins,megan and audrey. Then theres the ghetto girls who think they can defey everything, then the outcast who dont talk to anyone, and then theres us.Im not really sure what we are, but i just know that I would sort of maybe like things better if we were all together, and not always separated. I dont know what Im trying to say, but this just bothered me.
The weather outside was absolutely beautiful, and I could have danced all over the feilds.I was beaming by this time.
WE actually sat in the sun for a change, and it was so warm.
And to top it all off kyle fucking did my algebra for me.
Things were too good to be true.
(beacuse its impossible to have a perfect day in my world)...
The cheerleading sponsor told me that I could not tryout for "her team" because I failed with a 68 in algebra.
JIPPED AGAIN!
screw it all
I actually cried the whole busride home, not just because of cheerleading that i could really care less for, but because this meant no red jackets either.
and the three day weekend in hell with my mother bitching about my carelessness.
WONDERFUL!
the boys want me to come down tonight, so I think im going to make the escape and hang for a little while. they always seem to take things off my mind.
and now it wil be 3 long days untill im with you again.
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